How does a man get that far?

I know I've not written much lately...didn't have much to say, but I feel like I've got something now. Basically it's probably more questions than statements. I'll ramble a bit in my stream of consciousness.

I'm confused.

I found out in the last weeks that a friend of ours just made an attempt on his own life. The story goes that he committed some sin against his family, had some hard conversations, and then decided that he would be better off ending it all. Now he's left in a pretty bad physical situation. I know this kind of stuff happens all the time across the world, but when it's someone who you know, it can't help but bring up questions. But in order to understand why I have so many questions, you have to understand the history.

This man and his family were very instrumental in reaching out to my family when we first started attending our church. He taught our Sunday School class. We ate together... served together... spent a little time as families hiking together. Angel reminded me that there was a time when we didn't make it to church one Sunday and he was the one who called us to make sure everything was all right. His family made us feel like we belonged there...they pursued us with the love of God and reached out to us in a way that we had never experienced. Our church had a few families like that who reached out to us.

I guess one of the main questions I have is how does a man who has the history of serving God and others end up in a position like he's in now? It doesn't make much sense really. After a couple years at our church, he and his family moved South...my family and I moved West and we didn't really have any contact with each other after that. Not because there was anything wrong, just because our lives took us to different places and a relationship was no longer practical. So I have no idea where they landed in church after they moved. I do think it rather sad though that somehow he found himself it a frame of mind to believe that all was hopeless and there was no one to care.

I'm not looking for someone to blame for this, he has to be responsible, but I do wonder if he would have had friends around him, other men to hold him accountable, would he have even found himself in the position to have the have hard conversations after mortal sin. I know we all have the propensity to do despicable things and when attack life alone, we can lose our sense of accountability. In many ways, the church fails to make this any better because we decide we want to show up wearing our best smile, proclaiming that there are no problems, no issues in life bigger that us, no temptations that are hard to bear, no worries about our kids, our jobs, our spouses. I'm getting tired of it because I see it all the time. I see it played out so often where we act as if church is a trophy case for perfection when all the time it should be a trophy case for grace. Perhaps if my friend were in a place of grace, even after he sinned against his family, his forgiveness and restoration would have been quick and complete. I know that some of that would have been up to him. He would have to be open to the examination of his brothers in Christ.

Was he in a place like this? I don't know. I guess that's just another question I ponder.